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I'm still alive and have lost control.

Now is this a good or bad thing? I haven't really decided yet. For once I am just being young, dumb, and carefree I owe to myself after all. For once I am finally not giving two fucks and for once I am going to do me.

It's summer after all. Suck it.

I saw you from the distance

Song of my life. (For the moment).

OH HAI!

I'm still alive!
Sorry I have been M.I.A but I have been more concerned in working out, working,school, my internship, and social life...so sorry...
BTW I am starting something new...which is experimenting with film ( disposible cameras)and writing in a journal with optimistic things in it only. One entry a day...meaning I have to write something I am happy, grateful, or love a day for a year. This should change my attitude. Anyways that's all. BYE!

Back to Nerd mode

Life will be the death of me, I swear. This semester is gonna serve me well but it's okay because I'm so ready to prove everyone wrong. I can do this.
Only these things are in my way...
5 credit internship
four classes which luckly are very interesting (modern dance class, video production, Social problem with Boltan DUH, and creative non-fiction.)
Work
and somewhere in between my social life, sleep, meals, showering, getting ready, working out and homework.
No worries I got this.


SIGHHHHH.

First fortune of the Year

ay ay.

2011. BEND OVER. Get ready to get owned.
This years resolutions
1. strive to be a happier and a more optimistic person. This means the following.

• Stop living my life through the past. Meaning stop thinking of all the what if's and what could have been but grow and learn from the past as well as accept what is done is done nothing I can do now to change it.
  
• Stop living my life with anxiety or more like stop living in fear. If you didn't know by now I fear life more than death--but more than anything I fear myself as strange as that sounds.
• Stop feeling sorry for myself. It gets me no where.

2. Learn to accept who I am as well as where I come from and my past. This means I will try NOT to belittle myself anymore. I have to learn to love myself for who I am not who I WISH I COULD BE or who anyone wishes they could see me be.

3. Push myself. OR as I always say finish what you started. It is time I follow up with what I say.

4. Don't let my insecurities get in the way of meeting new people.

5. Save money. MEANING. No more shopping. But more realistically speaking I am limiting myself to one thing a month (new) and thrifted (20 dollar limit). (this one is going to be tough).

6. and lastly as probably every women in the U.S. loose weight. My goals is 10-15 pounds. And this year I am fo REAL. Come Summer time I want to finally be comfortable in my own skin and walk around in a two piece. FACT I HAVE NEVER worn a two piece. SHIT SON.

Well there ya go. There are my sorta but kinda unrealistic resolutions.
here are others which I should also mention be kinder to others, help the needy, perhaps go to church, learn to trust people blah b-fucking blah.



oh and I got a haircut. FUCK, I hate it. oops so much for being optimistic.

Minnetonka boots

I am so pressed. It had to have its own post.


(and they were only 15 bucks WTF when they actually cost 90 dollars)
WIN.

Review for Black Swan

If you are into the following

• Ballet dancers
• Natalie Portman
• Mila Kunis
• Natalie and Mila having a hardcore make out session
• Psycho thrillers
• gore
• and boobs

Than this film is for you. Let me just say that when I came out of that movie theater I was soaking wet in every way possible. That film had me at the edge of my seat and dare I say... I will probably go again and see it.

And if you know me I never hype films, but this film delivered and it was great. (p.s. this video is awesome not only because Interpol is in it but it serves the film some justice, although you have to see it to believe it. AAAAAMMAAZZINNGGG)


Now of course if you are into fairy tale endings and all that soft shit this is not for the faint at heart, it is pretty graphic so WARNING.

I am so buying this movie when it comes out on DVD. HELL YES.