powder puff.

Is the new nick name I have been given at work due to my baby pink docs. Now my boss wants a pair.

Today I am in a better mood not only because Christmas is over but because I am one day closer to my love. This year I will be celebrating New years with him and I can't wait.

Anyways I woke up today and decieded that in order to feel good you have to dress the part and this is what I came up with.

This outfit made me happy. It brightned my mood and made me look foward to work.
Here I am wearing a flowery tunic dress $5 (very 80s my favorite), striped H&M sweater $5. Flower Belt from F21 $7, Black leggings $4 and baby pink docs given to me by my love. Priceless :P



Yay for being happy.

p.s. My christmas wasn't all that bad. I had yummy food , watched some horror movies and got some sweet gifts such as a new laptop-- THANKS MOMMY!(I can now easily take pictures with my webcam and chat with friends! Thank you technology)


some cute much needed PJ's.
Gift card to target. THANK GAWD!
and a red scarf. Can't wait to see Caco to exchange our gifts. I hope he likes what I got him this year.
Anyways l'm looking foward to a new decade. So in my next few blogs I will discuss New years resolutions, traditions, quirky supersitions, and much more. Till than toodle loo.

Home. Let me go home.

Home by Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros.
I have cried to this song all day.
And I am feeling like Dorthy these past few weeks.




"Home is whenever I'm with you." And right now I am not with you. I feel so out of place.

Today has been everything I expected

nothing more and nothing less.
Alone.
Depressed.
And kinda broken.

I guess I am kinda lying about my expectations. What I am trying to say is that I expected a little more this year especially from my boyfriend and a few friends. In my ideal world I was hoping my boyfriend was going to prove me wrong and visit me. I had hoped he would have knocked at 12 am on the dot on xmas day and would have surprised me. I had dreamed about it for a while too that he would some how drive down here just to kiss and hug me.

I cried when it was 12:05 only to laugh at myself at how silly that was of me to expect. I also cried because I had been left alone-- my mother decieded to go upstairs with her friends and once again I felt alone. She came down a few minutes later only to find me crying and apologized. She than forced me upstairs to see her "friends". Let me just say it was beyond akward-- I got some dirty looks by some drunk fellow and by drunk I mean like, "girl you look fine lets get it on kinda look." I decieded to stay for a few minutes to please me mother and to not seem rude but had to leave because I felt very uncomfortable and because somehow when I was crying the man upstairs had a few CD's in his hand. The one facing me said "The Smiths" and that made me cry more. Now that I realize it that CD is mine and I don't know how he got it. WTF.

ugh. I still miss my father every christmas and no matter how hard I try to forget how much I shouldn't miss him--I can't especially when alone.

Today is Christmas day and my boyfriend hasn't called and I was still hoping he would visit me. again how silly of me. It's almost 7 and I am trying hard not to think of destructive tendicies. This is probably the one time of the year I feel the most suicidal. I guess I'll read something happy because I don't know how much I can take of this. Perhaps I'll take a nap because only in my dreams does everything seem to make sense or seem happier. Merry fucking Christmas.

Christmas through the years

It's that time of the year when nothing seems right and everything seems to be lonier. Here are a few of the pictures I have of what Christmas used to be when everything seemed perfect.

Xmas 1989.


Xmas 1990. My mother with her sweet mullet. How I love you.


The only picture of my father and I on Christmas day. 1990.

And here I am now ten minutes away from Christmas-- and I still miss you.

Picture perfect

Tonight the bone white walls are dressed in shades of greens, reds, and blues.
The plastic tree stands erect with dignity despite its many imperfections. Everyone is ready.
The picture perfect family is dressed to impressed-- at least for tonight. There are no visible signs of any flaws. Everyone has their plastered smiles on.
Ready.
Set.
Go.
Momma and pappa are ready for the show. Tonight broadway is intown!and you-- you
will be the audience-our guest of honor.
come inside and take a seat. Look! look how happy we look. Empty hugs and broken dreams.

we put up quiet a act don't we?
Are you moved yet? So moved you wish you had what you know you can never have--
the ideal picture perfect family?
But look! For FUCK SAKE open your eyes!
look behind closed doors. The curtains are unraveling now. The show is over for tonight.
We put up quiet a act don't we? We put up quiet an act.

Marshmellow Pink

UGHHHHH. Is all I feel after I am done after a long shift at work. Especially due to the holidays-- NOTE to SELF don't ever work during the holidays when you are in retail its a killer. Seriously the holidays are so overrated- can't wait for them to be over.
anways this is what I wore to work today.


sweater is from Forever21. (Three years old)
Black tank from Forever21.
Skirt is from some cheap store in PG plaza. This is my new favorite skirt--not only because it looks like a rip off of AA but because it goes wwith just about everything and its so comfy.





As you can see lately all I have been wearing are soft pinks and blacks. Perhaps it is due to my new obsession with my baby pink Docs.



I love these bad girls but they are not good for inches of snow. Argh the snow got into my docs and hurt my toesies! argghhh. So this only means one thing... I have to invest in the longer docs because these are no good when it comes to deep snow.

Anyways a few more days till xmas and I can't wait for it to be over.

Happy over rated holiday, love the Grinch who hates xmas.

3 oh 1 how I adore you

Not only because I live in MD but because Maryland has the best thrift stores. In particular Wheaton MD how I have missed you. Recently I have been thrifting since I never get the chance to during school and I plan to thrift as much as I can since I have not been dissapointed yet. So here are a few of my favorite finds.

1.
price: $10 but I got them for $6 dollas holla.
Baby blue and pale yellow cowboy boots with rainbow stitching and flowers on the side. Amazing! I have worn them once and ever since and I have gotten alot of compliments. They are a little big but hey they are amazing and had to get them. Seriously best find yet.
2.
Price: $2
Granny white shoes. yeah I know, I already own some brown ones but these white ones are kick ass especially since I just purchased some acid wash skinnies for 12 bucks! ZOMG amazing. So my vision with these new shoes are acid wash jeans. Red sock and red sweater. Can't wait to wear my vision. All I need is big scrunchy red socks and a big bulky red granny sweater.

3. .
price: $4
Bad ass jean jacket. I love the fit and wash and plan to wear it with dresses to add some edge to it. I also plan to add some studs. Anyways, second best find.

4.
price: $ 2
Cute little vintage purse. Love it.

5.
$ 1
Cute little bow earrings. Love them.

6.
$ 1
Sweet sea shell necklace.
I plan to to go back sometime this week. Yay for thrift adventures and yummmy Korean food. All I am missing now is Caco to be with me. booo how I miss thee.

as 2009 comes to an end

so did the lives of many hollywood stars. Today Brittany Murphy died and although I am not a huge fan of her-- I must say she was a pretty good actress and plus she was in King of the Hill as the voice of Lou Anne. And I love King of The Hill.


Among others who have passed on are of course the infamous
king of pop (MJ). Seriously i don't care how many haters there are out there who call him a pedo. I truly believe that he wasn't at all and so all the haters can shove it because no matter how much they dislike him they can't take away the fact that he was an amazing singer/dancer and will forever be THE KING OF POP. RIP.


Farrah Fawcett.1947-2009. such a beauty. RIP.



Who couold forget Billy May? Come on the guy with the super enthusiastic voice selling products? Duh. annoying tv ads will never be as annoying as you. RIP.


Now for famous pets.
Clinton's cat died at age 20. MROW! RIP Socks.

and lastly and certainly who could forget the taco bell cutie? Unfortunatley he has passed on too but we know he lived a glamourous life from being the taco bell superstar too Legally Blond. RIP.

.

My wish list

Things I want but do not need.
1. A Nikon camera. If I had this little beauty I could probably finally be able to have a lookbook/be able to upload good quality wardrobe pictures/pictures of daily adventures--but instead I am stuck using my cell phone. (Sorry Cell-ie but I need an upgrade)

2. A lomo. I don't need this but I'd love to be able to have one and be actually be able to KNOW how to use one. I might just get one--especially since my discount on housewares/electronics are now if 40% at UO. Holla for employ appreciation.




3. more doc martens. I know, I know. I just got a pair last week but even since I have been OBSESSED with them. I am on a quest to save up and buy three more pairs. I browsed the web and saw these and instantly fell in love with them. ZOMG.
a.

b. My Favorite! I might just have to do this.

c.

d.

e.

These shoes make me so happy!
4. A vintage leather briefcase.
5. My dream tattoo which I will most likely have to wait a few more years to get. And...
6. Oxford black and white old school shoes.

Things I do need and wish for Christmas
1. a hand written letter/card telling me one happy memory in which someone has shared with me.
2. a hug from someone I love.
3. A good dinner with my mom where we don't fight or argue.
4. Just to be happy.
5. A new hair do!

Unrealistic Wish list for the world
1. For everyone to be able to share a nice dinner with someone else during the holidays.
2. For every child to at least have one gift.
And lastly
3. for everyone to be happy during these holidays.
Unrealistic I know--but if only these three things happened that alone would make me happy.

This is my wish list for oh-9. Now if only I can figure out what to get for others and actually not telling them in advance before they open it. UGH. I am horrible with surprises. Anyways happy holidays!

whoop whoop

Finals are all done. YAY! Finally I get a break from school but will miss having people around me 24/7.

Well, It's been weeks since I have last updated on account that i have been so busy. Argh argh argh.
sooo.... here's a quick recap of since I last updated: I realized that in order to be happy I need to either do the following a. stop feeling sorry for myself b.choose to be happy c. talk to someone or d. Keep my mind distracted by helping others. I think I might just do all of them in order to make it through Christmas and New years. Come on depression! Give me the best you got because this time around I am not letting you take me down.


On a lighter note my boyfriend got me my baby pink doc martens as an early xmas gift! I have been wearing them everyday since. ANDDDD we got our first snow last weekend! whoop whoop.



Picture taken by Sarah Y.

And here's a picture of my beautiful boyfriend who got me my kick ass shoes (only because I bugged him for a whole three days to get them for me). Happy 27 months!

As the holidays emerge...

So does my depression.
Usually this is the time of the year everyone looks forward to--Unfortunately I am not one of them. It's during these weeks I realize how alone I really am. Call me selfish. Tell me I need to stop feeling sorry for myself. Call and say of me as you wish. But you don't know or will you ever begin to understand how alone I feel during these weeks. I just wish I had a big family with cousins, brothers, sisters, uncles and aunts, grandma's and grandpa's friends. My father. I miss you. Where ever you are if you are alive or dead I miss you. I wish you could see me now. This month will mark year eight. And although it's been eight years since I last saw you, I still think about you. And I am still hurt that you left without saying goodbye. But what kills me the most is that I don't even know if you are alive or dead. I just wish you knew how much I miss you. Especially during these months of November and December.




By Charmaine Olivia.

Fur and Sequins

Apparently fur is in. Okay, I really don't have a problem with that unless it is real fur.Personally I think the whole fur trend is quite ugly, but hey some people can pull it off. Part of me wants to Blame "Where the Wild Things Are" lawl.


Okay now to Sequins. Let me just add that sequin have always been in. They are never out. Ever. At least for me. Today I wore the most amazing sequin vest and got a lot of attention. Some people loved it while others not so much. But than again my school is full of conservatives so it doesn't surprise me that so many people were probably thinking I was out of my mind. Regardless sequins are awesome and so much fun. I also got purple sequin shoes! Awesome.

Lamesauce.

Weather sucks.
School sucks.
Work Sucks.
Hopefully my weekend is better than last.
i definitely plan to thrift more. I am on a serious search to find some doc martens and a leather brief case. CHA!

wait, wha?

so 1111 was very successful

First off. I was off today. I haven't had a day off in weeks.Thank the lawwddd. So I woke up at 11. Ate Lunch with my honeybun.
Than went to meet up with Christina and went to Wheaton. Bought a much needed jacket (which I am in love with) Than went to Unique and found the most amazing things. Everything today was 50 percent off because of veterans day. Thank gawd. So I bought 10 things for under 20 dollars. AMAZING. I bought two pairs of shoes, five sweaters, gloves, and a sequin vest. SCORE.
Than we met up with Ashely and had a kick ass korean feast. SOOOO good.
Overall today was a great day minus the crappy weather.
And minus the fact that I forgot to wake up at 1111 am, but I made a wish at 1111pm and hopefully it comes true. Yayayay. So happy.


All the Christmas stuff is out. Whoop whoop.


Our Cart was jammed packed.


Do want. Ugh if I had my place I would have gotten this. Only 15 dollars. SOOOO cute.


After being two hours in Unique we had an amazing Korean feast. YUMMMM. hands down best food ever.

And here are a few of my favorite finds.

omg. AMAZING. $1.


So cute and warm by Banana Republic. Slouchy just like I wanted. $4.


Sequin vest $2. Big but sooooo beautiful. I had to get it.

Fin.

In honor of 11:11 and my first blog posting.

Today is November 11. which means 11:11.
In honor of this day, I will set my alarm to 11:10 just so I can wake up and make a wish and than make another one at 11:11pm.

Happy wishing. You only get to partake in this event once a year! Lets make it worth while.