A night of realizations

Today I realized...
How old I am getting
and how young I still feel.

Today I realized...
How surrounded I am
and how lonely it feels

Today I realized...
How awful it is to be alone in a room
with no one to dance with.

Today I realized...
How awesome it would be if
I could just get up and leave.

Seriously, I realized a lot of things
I realized that wearing lipstick attracts all the black men
and that I really hate my job
and that people will only talk to me based on what I wear
and that many of those people only like me because of that
and that I really should not be studying English
and that I should have probably gone to beauty school
and that this blog is a waste of time
and that I should be sleeping
and that
and that
and that.

AND THIS
was all some fucking bullshit.